Right now, I’m wrestling.

I’ve gotten such a good thing going with posting online, with writing every day, with cultivating a writing community around me.

It’s made me a better writer. It’s made me more confident. It’s allowed me to shed the yoke of perfectionism that keeps me from putting my work out into the world. It’s allowed me to experience how tough it is to display the sheer courage my young writers demonstrate each and every day, with more grace than I could ever muster.

So for those of you who are regular readers, THANK YOU. You and your work provide me with the inspiration and the motivation to keep putting my own work out into the world.

And yet.

This THING. This contraption that I keep staring and typing into.

My profession right now chains me to this THING.

I spend eight to ten hours a day, sometimes more, weekdays and weekends, in front of this THING.

I go to sleep and wake up with the imprint of a laptop screen in my mind.

And I am not sure how or why I continue to spend more time with this THING than is absolutely necessary.

I’m not sure what this means for my writing right now. Maybe it means that I write by hand for a while, and catch up with blog posts as often as I can. Maybe it means that I grin and bear it, because sometimes writing IS hard.

I’ve just got to figure a way to crawl out from under my resentment of this THING.

So…yes. It’s possible that you might not see posts every single day for a while. But that doesn’t mean I’ve bowed out. If I’ve discovered anything over the last two months, is that I need writing as an outlet.

Because I’m not going anywhere.

Thanks, as always, for reading.

Published by Lainie Levin

Mom of two, full-time teacher, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and holder of a very full plate

2 thoughts on “Tug-of-War

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