Thanks, Raivenne, for providing me with the inspiration for today’s blog post. (Maybe you should polish up that resume and put your name in the hat!)
VACANCY: Personal Muse
Position Type: Management
Date Posted: March 17, 2022
Location: Inside my brain (hazard pay included)
Date Available: Immediate
Job Description:
Lainie Levin is an aspiring writer, poet, and occasional hot mess. She is currently seeking an artistic muse to spur her into action and inspire her to push her boundaries. Lainie Levin offers a competitive compensation package, including love, adoration, baked goods and the occasional, reluctant thank-you.
Duties and Responsibilities:
The artistic muse assumes authority for the general artistic growth and creative welfare of Lainie Levin. Responsibilities include (but are not limited to):
- Giving Lainie good ideas for writing
- Giving her better ideas for when she doesn’t like the first ones
- Nudging her to get writing
- But being nice about it
- But also kicking her in the rear when she needs it
- Giving Lainie the space to find inspiration
- Pointing said inspiration out when she needs it
- Letting Lainie sleep, for heaven’s sake
- But also helping her shape a story when she’s ready
- And reminding her she has the skills to DO the THING
Minimum Qualifications
- A thick skin
- The patience of Job
Working Environment:
The usual and customary methods of performing the job’s functions require the following physical demands: pulling along, shouldering the burden, general nudging, doing the heavy lifting, and some amount of stooping to levels.
Interested applicants, please respond below.
Soapbox: The Way I see Things 
Just make sure you vet all applicants. Get references. May give that person a trial run before committing to hiring said person full time. Great post.
Absolutely! I hear that interview committee is a real BEAR
Noticed some symmetry with occasional in your job description. Are all of your occasional bouts with being a hot mess paired up with occasional thank yous? I love this structure and playful nature, something tells me your muse will be applying to interview with you soon! 🙂
Ah….I didn’t notice that! No, it was just a case of my using a word more often than I usually do. As for that muse, I’m still waitin’!
Such a cute post! Love the idea of job posting for a personal muse. If you should find a highly qualified applicant, please send my way.
Thanks! I’ll keep you in mind if I find a good source =))
A thousand giggling “Yes!” for the utter delightfulness of this! I’m so glad you included the let you sleep part. I clearly left that out of my posting and those chicks have taken advantage of it. This was a much needed grin after my admittedly less than joyous post today. Thank you.
Thank you! Yes, muses are horrible for the slieep schedule, that’s for sure. And…thank YOU again for the inspiration!
Thanks for linking to Raivenne’s post. I read it and then read yours. The two of you have me thinking that my muse needs to get its act in order. Perhaps I should write to it. It’s been lost for several months.
Ooh. Maybe you’ve got yourself a blog post, Stacey! I could definitely see that letter or that “gone missing” notice taking shape quite nicely…
Ha–this slice was so much fun to read! I imagine it was joyful to write as well.
Ohh, it WAS. I always like the blog posts that have me giggling as I write!
Very clever format and treatment! “A thick skin” and “the patience of Job” would be apt requirements in a lot fields!
Well, THAT’s for sure!
Absolutely delightful, Lainie – oh the fun you have, poking fun at you. My favorite part of all is including hazard pay for the Muse to live in your brain. I love every bit of this – mainly because THIS. IS. ME. TOO. – do you think we could go in together for BOGO -?? 🙂
Absolutely! It’s like nanny-sharing, but for muses. I’m sure there’s an app for that, right?
Ha! Hazard pay included! I love this format. Thanks for the smiles today.
This is perfect. I’ve been talking to my dog a lot, and while he is a very good listener, he is not really up to the muse position. I really like “pointing said inspiration out when she needs it.” That alone would be worth a generous salary. I feel like the inspirations are probably all around me, but I miss a LOT.
Exactly! I think if I truly found inspiration everywhere, I don’t know how my brain would handle it. It’s like being fully conscious all the time. It’s…a LOT.
Another example of why I always regret not getting to your posts each day or week! Chef’s kiss.
Aw thanks! I say that after feeling guilty that I let a couple of days slide by myself. Time to get on it!
So so fun reading this post! I’m intrigued to what levels the muse must stoop. Thank you for this hilarious read. I, too, may be in the market for a new muse.
Yeah…I’m assuming that at some point that muse is going to have to resort to some form of trickery or shennanigans.