Last night I woke up and song lyrics came into my mind:
I hear the drizzle of the rain
Like a memory it falls
Soft and warm, continuing,
Tapping on my roof and walls
“Kathy’s Song.” Simon and Garfunkel. It was, for a time, my very favorite song. I taught myself to play it on guitar.
And from the shelter of my mind
Through the window of my eyes
I gaze beyond the rain-drenched streets
To England where my heart lies.
Question is, why? I mean, it was raining when I woke up last night. And rain, I see, can get that song going in my head. But it took over my sleep. I spent the rest of the night in and out of dreams, drafting a blog post around those words. The rest of the night (and much of my day today) was centered around those lines. I had no idea what I was going to write today, only that I was compelled to shape it around a song I loved and left behind.
My mind’s distracted and diffused
My thoughts are many miles away
They lie with you when you’re asleep
And kiss you when you start your day.
So today, I knew that the only thing I’d be able to do was to set Simon’s words to the screen and see what would happen. I didn’t have any other choice. It’s almost as though the muse I had called for decided she was going to show up, unannounced, for her first day at work, regardless of whether or not I hired her. (She may or may not have also missed the memo about not waking me up.)
And the song that I was writing is left undone
I don’t know why I spend my time
Writing songs I can’t believe
With words that tear and strain to rhyme.
Now I see it.
There’s a certain amount of heart that goes into writing, a measurable chunk of myself that deserves to be placed into all I do. If not, it’s probably not worth the effort. I’m also going to go out on a limb and guess the same holds true for everything I do.
And so, you see, I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you.
Muse, 1. Lainie, 0.