Soapbox: The Way I see Things

Slice of Life 2021 Day 24: On Hitting the Wall

Today marks Day 24 of the Slice of Life challenge. Join me as I work to write every day in March – and beyond!

This is only my second year participating in the Slice of Life challenge, but I’ve still noticed patterns. Perhaps that’s the systematic, mathematical part of my brain that always wants to go for a spin. However you break it down, though, I’ve noticed threads.

The biggest thing I observed is that just about everyone, at some point, struggles for something to write about. Those posts come in various forms: the “I-didn’t-know-what-to-slice-about-so-I-wrote-this-poem” poems, the “I-had-writers’-block-so-this-was-what-I-came-up-with” posts, the “I-didn’t-think-I-had-anything-to-say-until-this-happened” entries, and so on.

And within these entries lies the true genius of this challenge:

We DON’T have to have great ideas every day.
We DON’T always have be be refined and articulate.
We DON’T have to love everything we write.

But we DO need to write every day.
We DO need to be in the practice of putting work into the world.
We DO need to maintain that muscle memory of going from thought to written word.

For me, that (re-)discovery is critical. It’s the practice of writing, of allowing enough mental quiet to listen for words to come, even when I think I have nothing to say. It forces my growth as a writer.

This challenge, this struggle, is what so many of my kids come up against every time they face a blank page, a blank screen. And the fact that we writers go through this difficulty ourselves, it makes us all the more earnest in our own teaching of writing.

We’ve been there. We know what it’s like. We’ve felt the anxiety, the dread, the disappointment.

Our kids need to know that.

We’ve also come through the other side.

Our kids need to know that.

Slice of Life 2021 Day 23: Chores

Today marks Day 23 of the Slice of Life challenge. Join me as I work to write every day in March – and beyond!

I actually started this blog post a couple of years ago. My flurry of housecleaning over the last day or two has inspired me to pick it back up again and put it out into the world.

There’s a lot to keeping my house in order.

My school house, that is. To me, my job is much like running a home. There’s planning, scheduling, coordination of supplies, keeping people happy, you name it. At home, I don’t take care of things for only myself. The same is true for school. There are the kids to advocate for and teach. There are colleagues who need support, guidance, and resources. There are administrators who like to have meetings. And more meetings.

And more meetings.

Of course, that whole big picture can be broken down into a series of small and not-so-small tasks.

Chores.

The backbone of domestic life. The bane of domestic existence.

At home, there are chores I actually like doing. They’re the ones I do as my preferred form of procrastination. Sweeping, for instance. There’s something about the feel and sound of the broom, about getting into the corners and cracks and seeing all of that dust and junk come out of hiding.

At school, I’d most closely relate that to my #1 favorite school task, hands-down: ORGANIZING.There is something inexpressibly wonderful about a clear desk, about a room where paper and clutter have no place. Morning Me loves it when Afternoon Me has taken five minutes to make things pretty for the next day. I know there are those of you out there who get it.

Then again, there are certain chores I avoid like the plague. Like the dishes. I’ll clean off the counters, organize the junk mail, rearrange the fridge, all to put off standing over the sink with a sponge. And the fact that I’m going to have to do the same thing tomorrow, and the next day – just makes it even less inviting.

At least if I’m home, I can delegate the chores I hate to someone else. (Ask my children when I folded their laundry last.) I can’t get away with that type of delegation at school, where the burden falls upon me.

At school, it comes down to GRADING. Oh, I’ll do it. I’ll spend my time reading through the papers, writing in comments (not in red, of course), and entering grades in the grade book. But wouldn’t it be more fun to file my papers? To check my e-mails? To visit classrooms and check in with teachers? Wouldn’t I much rather confer with my students and give them all in-person feedback? Of course it would. And of course I would.

But the fact remains that there’s work to be done. Like doing the dishes, I’ll take care of it, hopefully before the stacks become too big and and menacing to handle.

Will I ever learn to love this task? Perhaps. Or perhaps not. In the meantime, I’ll count on my music playlists and Flair pens to soften the blow.

Slice of Life 2021 Day 22: Rolling With It

Today marks Day 22 of the Slice of Life challenge. Join me as I work to write every day in March – and beyond!

It’s Monday of spring break. You’d think that I would get my satisfaction today out of going out to the deck, propping up my feeties, listening to the birds chirp and drinking some form of tasty beverage.

Today’s plan? I’ll be strapping on the rubber gloves, wearing old workout gear, grabbing some spray bottles and setting to work on my house.

I’m living the dream, right?

Okay, I know what you’re thinking. It doesn’t sound so very relaxing. I can feel the figurative finger-wags coming from cyberspace now.

To tell you the truth, I’m not a terribly good housecleaner. I’m slow and inefficient. I miss spots. It’s why I’m better at being a picker-upper. Clearing clutter is one of my favorite forms of procrastination.

But hear me out. Even though I don’t like housecleaning, I like being in a clean house. And suffice it to say that over the last weeks, I’ve…let things go. Enough so that I’m feeling the physical compulsion to clean. So after breakfast, it’s time to make like dice and get rolling.

And THEN, if you’ll be looking for me, I’ll be out back in the sunshine.

Sunday Sit-Down #10: Detour

Each Sunday, I’m working my way through my experiences with race. I’ll share stories and memories from throughout my life. I know I’ll encounter moments of growth that I wish I could relive. I’ll also have to think back on choices that I wish I could remake. Come join me each week.

This week, I was all set to reflect on my mindset after high school as I prepared to go to college.

This week, I was drafting in my head ways to recount how determination and idealism became my core ideals.

This week, a man killed eight people, six of them of Asian descent.

This week, the world broke open for many people I love and care about.

This week doesn’t mark some new low or new beginning or discovery. We’ve been here for generations. It’s the mark of a chronic and critical disease.

I’ve been carrying these ideas around for a few days, not really doing anything with them. I’m not quite sure where to put them or what to do with them. But I do know this:

I need to be a better set of eyes and ears for my friends, my colleagues, my students and my families.

I need to redouble my efforts to un-“other” others.

Especially my students and their families.

I need to keep reminding them that Diwali and Eid and Lunar New Year bear as much consideration as Easter,

that speaking English with an accent is a badge of honor, of persistence, of sacrifice,

that everyone deserves to have people pronounce their names correctly, and not just their English ones,

that they can write story characters beyond a white default,

that a bitmoji version of themselves doesn’t need to be blond and white to be beautiful,

that they are seen, and valued, and acknowledged, and important.

I’ve got work to do. We’ve got work to do.

Slice of Life 2021 Day 20: My Ten

I’ve been seeing folks post lists of ten, and today, I thought I’d join in the fun. Because FUN.

I’m a self-professed podcast fanatic. I’ve got dozens of ’em I listen to off and on. They keep me company on dog walks, car rides, household chores and meal prep. Some of the more soporific ones coax me to sleep at night. And while my kids give me grief over being a person who listens to podcasts, I don’t care. It’s one of my favorite ways to absorb nonfiction.

I thought I’d share ten favorites with you today. Understand that this was a TOUGH selection process. For every one I’m sharing, there are two or three just as worthy. Here goes:

This is the podcast I wish I had when my kids were young. It’s an honest, albeit expletive-laden look at parenting. Biz Ellis and Theresa Thorn of One Bad Mother know that everyone’s doing the best they can. The community is there to fight judgements and assumptions against one another as parents. And, most importantly, NO ONE is alone, no matter how dark the forest seems. My favorite episodes are the “Genius-Fail Spectaculars.”

You might have your ideas about life for incarcerated persons. Ear Hustle seeks to disrupt that. And I’ll say this. Any media project that goes inside prisons has the potential to fetishize or objectify its subjects. Earlonne Woods and Nigel Poor do a remarkable job working to HUMANIZE. It’s a heartfelt and sincere examination of folks who live in prison and their loved ones, and those who have been released.

Ever wonder what it would be like if someone gave Yelp-style reviews to regular things in real-life (geese, Dr. Pepper, Teddy bears, velociraptors)? The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green is insightful, entertaining, educational, and incredibly well-written. There haven’t been many new episodes lately, but I’ve enjoyed the ones that are out there.

You may have watched episodes of Cops at some random time, and for me, I always shrugged my shoulders at the show and its display of human behavior at some of its lowest points. What I didn’t see, and what I didn’t understand, was how insidious and manipulative the show really was, especially in light of the problems plaguing law enforcement and our criminal justice system. Running from Cops was a short but highly powerful series from Dan Tyberski.

This is another podcast that hasn’t been on in a while, but I always love each episode. I’m a freelance storyteller, so shows like The Moth always get me. I’d consider Immigration Stories to be in that same vein. How it distinguishes itself is its focus on immigrants, their descendants, and those who work to support them. Nestor Gomez and Angel Ling remind us that we need to tell our stories, and we need to listen to the stories of others. It’s what makes us human.

Now that I listen to 99% Invisible by Roman Mars, I cannot believe how much design affects so many aspects of my life. And I cannot believe how oblivious I was to all the hidden stories around me. Curb bump-outs. Skate parks. Flags. Airline safety briefing cards. Traffic. Every episode has something new and intriguing to teach me. And most of you out there know that I. LOVE. Learning.

Being a storyteller, I have a passion for folklore. Myths and Legends satisfies me on so many levels. First of all, I get to hear stories across cultures that I’ve never yet heard. And even the stories that I’ve read, or even told, I learn something new because the host is relentless in his research. I’d also add that Jason Weiser is an exceptional writer. He craftily weaves in modern-day nuance and sensibility, all without disrupting the integrity of the stories themselves.

Here’s another short series podcast. At first glance, I supposed Dolly Parton’s America would be corny. I pictured Dolly Parton being a “Dollyland” version of amusement-park shallow. I downloaded the first episode and was captivated. Jad Abumrad explores why Dolly Parton is so popular with such a wide audience. This show is a reminder that I need to bend my perspectives, to evolve my own viewpoint and learn new things about people. For the record, I am now officially a Dolly fan.

I am a pedant. I like for things to be right. There are things people do to the apostrophe that keep me up at night. But I’ve gotten better. I generally don’t try and correct people because I figure if I know what people MEAN, then I don’t have to correct what they say or write. Still, there’s nothing like listening to Judge John Hodgman and “Bailiff” Jesse Thorn settle a good argument over absolutely nothing. Judge John Hodgman scratches that itch.

I don’t listen to many spiritual podcasts. And The Confessional with Nadia Bolz-Weber doesn’t overtly set out to be. She coaches her guests on talking about times when they were at their worst. The stories are heart-breaking and sincere, and she guides them to a bit of clarity and light with compassion and sincerity. At the end of each podcast, she offers a blessing for the guest – but I’ve found that I’ve been in need of those blessings myself.

That’s my ten (of many). I left off great shows like The Nod, The Sportkful, Soooo Many White Guys, Song Exploder, Driving the Green Book, Margaret Cho, Over the Road, They Call us Bruce and Two Dope Queens, to name a few.

Perhaps I’ve given you a solid recommendation or two, perhaps it’s just another glimpse into who I am. Enjoy.

Slice of Life 2021 Day 19: Senior Night

Today marks Day 19 of the Slice of Life challenge. Join me as I work to write every day in March – and beyond!

It was my son’s senior night at hockey.

This guy. He’s been skating since he was two.

*I mean…LOOK at this kid. Bro’s in the background.*

Yes, I’m a hockey mom. I have been for a long time. He started on a house league team in kindergarten. He actually played on the same team as his second-grade brother. Then my husband suggested he play travel hockey in first grade. And I’ll confess: putting my son into travel hockey at the age of six felt like a violation of everything I stood for in regard to the development of kids. I fought it with every fiber of my being, until.

Until I saw how much happiness and fulfillment hockey brought him. When he stepped out onto the ice, he looked – still looks! – joyful. Even from a hundred feet away, I can see him smiling through that cage.

Hockey has also brought him some of his darkest times. He’s fought his way through a lot. I can count at least four or five times where hockey had betrayed him in one way or another. Times any ordinary person would have shrugged their shoulders, cut their losses and moved on to another sport. Times I could have sworn he would hang up his skates and walk away.

He didn’t.

Wow, do I ever admire that guy. This one’s for him.

Sam,
your skates:
they have been
your feet ever
since the age of two
I’ve seen you glide and stride
over the past thirteen years
if anyone were to ask me
what’s your truest expression of self,
where it is that you feel the most like YOU,
I’d point them in the direction of the ice
this slippery surface that serves as solid ground
and I’d tell them this place. This place has always been home.

*This is how much we love mom taking our picture*

*Sandwiched between brother and dad. Hockey family through and through.*

*Senior night banner (see that smile on the ice? Told you!)*

Slice of Life 2021 Day 18: Crowdsourcing

Today marks Day 18 of the Slice of Life challenge. Join me as I work to write every day in March – and beyond!

Oh, WORDS. You are SNEAKY little devils.

You plant yourselves in one place in my life, then hop over into another before I have time to notice there’s a pattern going on.

But I see you now. I see the way you’ve inched into my writing practice, my teaching practice. You can’t fool me.

Maybe I’ll explain myself.

My students have been crafting theme-driven stories over the past weeks, and most of them are in various stages of revision. I noticed that many of my students still don’t have titles, and some of them don’t even have names for their characters.

I thought that it would be good for them to have a session together where they could gather ideas and support.

Enter: CROWDSOURCING.

I started by asking if kids knew the word itself.* No one did. So we talked about an example of crowdsourcing: when zoos have contests to name baby animals. Basically, it’s using the power of the crowd to source good ideas.

I then prompted students to think about, and enter in the chat, things that they wanted to “crowdsource” from classmates. We divided up into breakout rooms. Our procedure:
-Groups would decide order for turn-taking.
-Each author gets 7 minutes for their turn.
-During that time, they crowdsource ideas for whatever they need.
-I broadcast a “switch” message after each 7 minutes.
-Groups that finish early can move on to the next writer or circle back to someone who needs more time.

After that, kids had time to go back into their work and incorporate changes. They had a great time with this! **

That’s when it hit me. I’ve been relying on the very same strategy – crowdsourcing – as well! Just this week, in my “strategies to try” post, I put out a call to my own writing community, asking for links and ideas for cool post formats. I hadn’t even realized that I was doing exactly what I was asking my kiddos to do.

Sure do love me some serendipity.

___

*One of my favorite quick assessments when I introduce a new term. I say and write the new word or phrase, then I ask for kids to give me a 1-2-3 finger response (or a number in the Zoom chat):
1: Wait — that’s a WORD?
2: Ooh – I feel like I’ve heard of that word, or I’ve heard people use it.
3: Out of my way – let me tell people what this means!

____

**Don’t tell my kids this is just a spin on offering feedback.They’re digging the new lingo!

Slice of Life 2021 Day 17: Lucky

Today marks Day 17 of the Slice of Life challenge. Join me as I work to write every day in March – and beyond!

You can keep your corned beef
And your cabbage
And your potatoes
And your soda bread
And your whisky

Never mind about those shamrocks
Or leprechauns
Or parades
Or wearing of the green

The luck I find
Comes to me
In tokens of love:
Reminders from friends
That I am missed
And thought of
And appreciated.

Brought to me by a friend who knows and loves me. Lucky, lucky, LUCKY me.

Slice of Life 2021 Day 16: Harvesting Ideas

Today marks Day 16 of the Slice of Life challenge. Join me as I work to write every day in March – and beyond!

You know, we always tell our young writers to keep track of all the great ideas they have for writing “seeds.” I’ve realized that I’ve seen some amazing ideas for cool Slice structures lately, including:

Fran Haley’s etherees
Ms. Chen’s “My Ten” post (along with her time-bending post, borrowed from Fran McVeigh)
Britt’s and onathough’s “6 words” slices
Vickie and Ravienne’s “Flashback Fridays”

Of course, I’m not going to be able to use ALL of these ideas in March, which is just fine! I just want to give these writing forms a spin whenever I can, and I’m even more excited to see how my kids respond to them.

How about you? What cool writing forms or structures have YOU seen? What are the tricks that you like so much that you’re squirreling away for another post?

Link to a cool blog format in the comments.* I’d love to develop a whole collection of new ideas I can use for future posts.

*(of course, the hipsterish buzzword I’m actually looking for is crowdsourcing, but you didn’t hear that from me)

Slice of Life 2021 Day 15: Out of Sorts

Today marks Day 15 of the Slice of Life challenge. Join me as I work to write every day in March -and beyond!

For the past week and a half, I’ve been feeling…OFF.

My mental magic wheel greedily spun comments, omissions, and small slights into threads – ropes! – of hurt, self-doubt and bruised ego.

I usually feel resilient. I can usually manage the “speed bumps” that life throws my way.

But lately I’ve been crabby. I’ve been overly sensitive. The tiniest nudge sends my mind into fits of perseverating.

What on earth was going on? It wasn’t the time change. It wasn’t hormones. It wasn’t the full moon. I had no way of explaining why I couldn’t get my emotional self together.

Until yesterday. Yesterday, I got myself behind a barbell for the first time in a while.

Between the new puppy, vaccine #2, some back issues and an unexpected home quarantine, I had neglected to get physically active. Other than walking said puppy, my body wasn’t doing ANYTHING.

But after a session moving big and heavy things, It felt GOOD. REALLY good. And all throughout the rest of the day, I felt good. I felt so much better, so much more in control, so much more resilient.

This has happened to me before. I’ve felt terrible about this world and everything in it, only to feel much better once I get myself moving.

I wish this week’s me could go back to last week me mid-mind spin. I wish I could interrupt, could tell myself that all of these terrible thoughts I’m having about me aren’t ME. That I need a physical outlet so I can feel better. Sometimes, all we have to do is to identify what we’re going through, to name the monster that’s taking over. It doesn’t fix the problem, but boy does it make it more manageable.

In the meantime, if you’re one of those people who interact with me in real life, I’ll leave you with this:
1) Thank you for putting up with my being a crabby pants.
2) If I’m being a super crabby pants, you have permission to when I worked out last.
3) It will be better for us all.
4) And thank you.