Today, for my Slice of Life post, I decided to share something I’m working on for the Passover seder this coming Friday. I’m generally the one who leads the service, and I’m always looking for ways to make the evening more fun. Because FUN. A few years ago, I started my take on Passover “Tom Switfties” to pepper around the table, and I thought I’d share my list with you. I’d like to think my dad is somewhere looking down on me and groaning in approval. Got any more ideas? Questions about what stuff means? Drop me a comment below!
“We don’t put anything on our matzo,” he said drily.
“Grandma’s matzo balls are just as I remember them,” she recalled heavily.
“Please pass the charoset,” he asked sweetly.
“Do we have to raise our cups AGAIN?” he whined.
“Here we go again with the Hillel sandwich,” he complained bitterly.
“But you need olives on the seder plate,” she pressed.
“Oy! Gefilte fish again!?” she carped.
“Hmm. I didn’t think peas were Pesadik,” he snapped.
“I give this seder one star,” he yelped.
“And this is the point where Moses comes with the Israelites to the Red Sea,” she imparted.
“Dayenu is my favorite song,” he noted.
“Perhaps you’d like another pillow?” she inclined.
“Thank goodness Passover joke day is after tax day,” she declared.
“It’s so wonderful to have all of the family here,” he related.
“It’s getting drafty with that door for Elijah open,” he vented.
“I’ve got the afikomen money right here in this envelope,” she flapped.
“C’mon! This Passover seder could go much more efficiently,” he expressed.
“Man, we’re not gonna be done ‘til the sun comes up,” he mourned.
“I bet the matzos are bigger in Texas,” she stated.
“This discussion is getting way too academic for me,” he professed.
Soapbox: The Way I see Things 
These are great. I have always been a fan of Tom Swifties. I wonder how many kids today know anything about Tom Swift. I wonder what kinds of swifties students could come up with. Could be a fun lesson.
ooh YES! Using them with my kids sounds like a FUN plan. Nothin’ like a little wordplay…
I’ve never heard the term Tom Swifty before so I’m grateful you linked to it!
In other news, these are fabulous! You capture the essence (and often the pain) of the Seder.
I’m leading the first night and Marc is leading the second. I think we better make sure we’re equally prepared so no one blurts out a Tom Swifty!
Thanks! You’re also welcome to use these in whatever way you’d like =))
I love this sort of wordplay and these are brilliant. Thanks for brightening my day.
I love these, Lainie! You’re really good at them. And you make me miss the seders I used to attend with a friend’s family years ago. Her father would have loved these Tom Swifties!
Now I’ve found out what a Tom Swiftie is, these are amazing!!