Slice of Life 2021 Day 15: Out of Sorts

Today marks Day 15 of the Slice of Life challenge. Join me as I work to write every day in March -and beyond!

For the past week and a half, I’ve been feeling…OFF.

My mental magic wheel greedily spun comments, omissions, and small slights into threads – ropes! – of hurt, self-doubt and bruised ego.

I usually feel resilient. I can usually manage the “speed bumps” that life throws my way.

But lately I’ve been crabby. I’ve been overly sensitive. The tiniest nudge sends my mind into fits of perseverating.

What on earth was going on? It wasn’t the time change. It wasn’t hormones. It wasn’t the full moon. I had no way of explaining why I couldn’t get my emotional self together.

Until yesterday. Yesterday, I got myself behind a barbell for the first time in a while.

Between the new puppy, vaccine #2, some back issues and an unexpected home quarantine, I had neglected to get physically active. Other than walking said puppy, my body wasn’t doing ANYTHING.

But after a session moving big and heavy things, It felt GOOD. REALLY good. And all throughout the rest of the day, I felt good. I felt so much better, so much more in control, so much more resilient.

This has happened to me before. I’ve felt terrible about this world and everything in it, only to feel much better once I get myself moving.

I wish this week’s me could go back to last week me mid-mind spin. I wish I could interrupt, could tell myself that all of these terrible thoughts I’m having about me aren’t ME. That I need a physical outlet so I can feel better. Sometimes, all we have to do is to identify what we’re going through, to name the monster that’s taking over. It doesn’t fix the problem, but boy does it make it more manageable.

In the meantime, if you’re one of those people who interact with me in real life, I’ll leave you with this:
1) Thank you for putting up with my being a crabby pants.
2) If I’m being a super crabby pants, you have permission to when I worked out last.
3) It will be better for us all.
4) And thank you.

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23 Responses to “Slice of Life 2021 Day 15: Out of Sorts”

  1. mindyr6572 Says:

    I am right there with you sister! I think it is also just the time of year. I call it Gloom and Doom. Brighter days are ahead!

  2. arjeha Says:

    There is something about physical activity that can change one’s outlook. It clears the head and makes us feel good about ourselves.

  3. Raivenne Says:

    “I wish I could interrupt, could tell myself that all of these terrible thoughts I’m having about me aren’t ME.”

    This can apply to so many ‘out of sorts’ moments in our lives. We’re human, sometimes we forget that we can run the machines of our mind and body ragged through inexertion and it rebels. Glad you were able to ‘sort’ everything out.

  4. Juliette Awua-Kyerematen Says:

    I’m glad your slice ended with some joy and hope. “Hang in there.” We all need to.

  5. Suzanne Says:

    Such a great reminder that, just like we do with our students, we need to take the time to figure out what is behind the behavior! Glad you are feeling better!

    • Lainie Levin Says:

      YES! Which, in turn, reminds ME as a teacher to show kids grace whenever and however possible, and to teach them to cultivate the same.

  6. Anna Maria Says:

    The way you described your mood reminded me of something from The Phantom Tollbooth. The Terrible Trivium. Your workouts tend to hide itself among other aspects of life. I’m the same way.

    • Lainie Levin Says:

      YES! Ohhhhh those demons. You know, I’m going to have to give that book another read. I miss it! Actually, I have the annotated version which includes all of the stories and extras from Juster and Pfeiffer.

  7. Book Dragon Says:

    Exercise is a great way to get endorphins percolating.Keep it up.
    (I found your final paragraph to be clever. Greta way to conclude your slice.)

    • Lainie Levin Says:

      Thank you! I always struggle with endings. It’s so hard for me to wrap things up with a bow and still make things sound sincere…

  8. britt Says:

    Lainie, I should really do this same thing. I’m certain it would make me feel better, but my goodness does it feel impossible… I applaud your willpower. You are an inspiration!

  9. livinglife816287820 Says:

    You are right, exercise does help to lift your mind, so why do we put it off! I’m sure you haven’t been that crabby!!

  10. Fran Haley Says:

    You amaze me. Your humor, your energetic way with words, your shoot-it-straight truth. I so admire the working out – it is not something I do as far as a regimen BUT I so know the value of being physically active. I need to get back to walking regularly … and when my granddaughter comes, we dance to all the cartoon theme songs which is sayin’ something because she’s a true dancer – I am not! Such a fun (if crabby, alas!) slice.

    • Lainie Levin Says:

      Ha! There’s something to be said for throwing your pride away dancing just for fun. Which also works for me, since my dancing generally looks like a cross between SNL’s Mary Katherine Gallagher and Seinfeld’s Elaine. Egads!

  11. natashadomina Says:

    I love this paragraph: “My mental magic wheel greedily spun comments, omissions, and small slights into threads – ropes! – of hurt, self-doubt and bruised ego.” It’s a good reminder to me, too. It’s been a hard week–maybe I need to make some time for extra movement!

    • Lainie Levin Says:

      Thank you! It’s weird. I look back at my mental state from last week and it seems surreal. Glad and grateful that this week is being at least a touch kinder…

  12. mgminer Says:

    I needed to read this! I keep blaming the weather! I love and believe this statement: Sometimes, all we have to do is to identify what we’re going through, to name the monster that’s taking over. First, we name it.

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