In case you are wondering, I am providing – for YOUR experience and benefit, and not at all for my own perverse need for procrastination, this here following:
Guide to Letting Yourself Put Off Tasks that are Difficult, Uncomfortable, and a General Pain in the Patoot
- Get yourself a dog. The needier, the better.
- Pet that dog. Even if they’re asleep and calm. They still need you.
- Hop on Facebook. Maybe there’s something good.
- Pour yourself a Diet Coke. You could use the caffeine.
- Bring up the document you need to work on.
- Close up all your other browser windows.
- Work on the document until your brain wanders.
- Make yourself a snack.
- Hop on Facebook again. What did you miss?
- Do the Wordle.
- Do the Quordle.
- Do the Octordle.
- Do the Jewdle.
- Click back on the tab you really need.
- Promise yourself you’re going to work this time.
- Open up Spotify and get some good work music going.
- Work on the document until you want to trash it and start over.
- Go to the other room and watch TV. You need something else to look at.
- Pet the dog again. Poor neglected thing.
- Make some lunch. You can’t work on an empty stomach.
- Open the computer again.
- Hop on Facebook. Still boring and dumb? Yep.
- Get back to that tab and start writing.
- Start over with what you REALLY want to say.
- Cut and paste it with what you started before.
- Erase it.
- How’s the dog? Better check.
- Make some boba. Throw some instant coffee in there. You need FOCUS.
- Hey. It’s been a while since you’ve checked email.
- Pet the dog again.
- Click back on the tab. Type.
- Nope. Don’t click away. Keep going.
- Keep going.
- Keep going.
- Finish your draft.
- FINISH it already.
- Make sure Facebook hasn’t self-destructed while you were away.
- Read your draft again.
- Shrug your shoulders and know that it’s probably good enough.
- More than.
Soapbox: The Way I see Things 
Yes, I recognize the steps to procrastination, even without FB. Its good enough but I wonder later if the project could be better if I’d given more time to it.
Perhaps sometimes my projects could be better with more time, but I’ve also discovered for myself that sometimes more time *isn’t* better, that more time is simply more time to overthink and overwork.
Ah…the joys of perfectionism…
This is exactly how I write my Slice of Life every . . . single . . . day! Today I added, clean the bathroom, make some marinara sauce, and wash the dog prints off my windows.
These sound like fabulous procrastination tactics. I’m taking notes…
I needed to watch the birds at the feeder as they tried to eat during a snowstorm. Oh, I had to pet that cat that was sitting on my lap. Did we get any mail during this storm? I had better go to the mailbox and check. The list goes on.
So much familiarity in this list. It’s a good format to drive home your point. For me, I do the Wordle, Quordle, Spelling Bee combo. I also like to stare at the wall. Procrastinators unite!
Yes! And perhaps, rather than calling it procrastinating, I could call it “gathering steam.” I could trademark that, right?
I’m a procrastinator and love how my life has been enhanced by all the things I hadn’t planned on doing! 🙂
Right? It’s certainly good stuff for me to do, just…not at the expense of the big stuff…
I enjoyed the form of this post, so much more than a list. 10-13 made me laugh (I have yet to try Wordle, this Alice does not need another rabbit hole). Reminds me of a souped up adult version of “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.” Procrastinator should’ve been my middle name.
Thanks! And…exactly! That model – the mouse/cookie version is certainly how I spend a lot of my time. Working through and compensating for ADHD is *probably* not a help, either!
Wow. Sans the dog, this could pretty much have been any of my past couple of weeks. Getting everything done, but the things I am supposed to be doing. The line count version of of only going to the store for milk; only to come back an hour later, $100 spent on groceries, and not one item in the bag is milk.
Ohhh I’ve done that before – go to the store, buy everything under the sun and come home without the one critical item that sent me there? YEP.
I got to 14 before I was like, ‘wait a second…’. Love how true this is and your structure lets the humour shine through. Glad you made it, it’s definitely more than!
Thank you! Now I have to hope that the original piece of writing is “more than.” I’ll be sending my mojo out into the world for that one…
I suspect I overuse this word when responding to your posts, Lainie, but it is the first one I hear in my mind: PRICELESS. This list, the TRUTH, every wonderful, witty word of it. I loved them all and as usual, i leave heartened by humor and perhaps a little (or a lot) more forgiving of myself, having seen my own reflection in this word-mirror.
Brilliant! Really and truly, laugh out loud!
Thank you! Glad I could give you a chuckle.